When Do You Know It’s Time to Move?

This winter has had its fair share of bumps. The whole time though, Cape Cod has felt like a safe haven. I have a great group of friends, and then I have the woods to walk through, the expansive beaches, the cozy fires. It’s so comfortable and homey.

But recently, I’ve started to feel…stuck. This town has so many wonderful, sweet qualities that I love, but at the end of the day, it is very small, and I am very young, and, well, I’m not getting any younger. I feel settled, which feels like cheating, because I’m 24! My mom often reminds me that I can’t have the life that I want without living it first, without gaining experiences and learning. I know what she means. I have always secretly wanted to just hopscotch over to point B, where I’ve got everything figured out and can sit on my back porch. It doesn’t work that way, does it?


So, I’m wondering: when do you know it’s time to move? When I came here, I had zero qualms about leaving New York — I was so done with the city and couldn’t wait to get out. Reasons to leave Cape Cod, though, would be entirely different. They would be based on pushing myself, on welcoming change, on fighting the urge to settle.

Two things are certain: 1. I despise transitions (can you tell?) and find them excruciatingly difficult. Any big decisions I make require so much courage. Even writing this post makes me shaky. And 2. I earned this spring and summer! It would feel so wrong to pick up and leave right as this place turns into paradise.


I would love ANY nuggets of wisdom you guys may have!

12 thoughts on “When Do You Know It’s Time to Move?

  1. So funny that we were just talking about this! I say give it the summer and you will definitely have it figured out by then (and also probably have worked up the courage to do it!). 🙂

  2. I don’t agree that feeling settled is cheating, but the fact that you are starting to feel stuck means you want something…else. I say enjoy the spring/summer and all the safe haven amenities because you CAN at 24! You can always come back, and you might find that you don’t want to (I have lived this). One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was there is no shame in giving up a dream that’s no longer working for you. I hate transitions too, but I think you will know when it’s right.

  3. I tried to “hobscotch over to point B” as well for the same reasons you give. It didn’t work out. I had to experience all those good and bad things like everyone else. Just with the difference that I had to experience it later in life.
    You will be getting older anyway, whether you go for it or you don’t. So, whenever you feel it is time to move, give youself time to work out, where to you want to move (maybe over summer ;-)) and than go for it.
    Transitions are never easy. With every move to a new place I ended up crying the first night in the new place and feeling lost and alone. That’s normal! The next day (or the day after) you pick yourself up, force yourself to make plans and carry them through. That’s normal! Everyone does it. The honest like your Mum will tell you. The dishonest will tell you, that it is very easy. Don’t believe the later 🙂

    • Love your comment, Michaela. I’ve actually heard that moving, along with break ups and the loss of a loved one, is one of the hardest things that one goes through in life. So I completely expect to cry on the first night…(and let’s be honest, the 20th, the 30th, etc:).

  4. I totally resonated with this post! with me, i’ve found that its really important to never discount what you feel. Really, how you feel is something that you will only really know, and it doesnt need to be really explained to someone or even logically explained, when you feel something inside of you- its definitely there for a reason. I’ve been living in new york city and the main reason I moved here to study was not because I really wanted to come here, but because everyone told me new york city was the place to be for artists- but i never really resonated with that. For MONTHS i’ve been discounting what i’m feeling, not being honest with myself. But starting this new year, i finally faced my feelings, what I truly felt about where I am at in life, and I just made the decision, the first step- which was declaring to myself that I am moving abroad to europe! sorry this is pretty a long and intense response to your post, but just my own story for what you may also be going through 🙂 cheers to whatever you decide upon!

  5. I’ve lived several different places since I graduated high school 6 (!) years ago. Whenever I felt I needed a change, I always encountered that feeling of restlessness you’re describing. And the transition was so so scary. Id suddenly be flooded with so many emotions at once: leaving friends and routine, worrying about “making the right choice”, etc. But what I’ve realized is the decision to move is certainly a process. Don’t make any rush decisions (enjoy the spring and summer!) and know that as long as you plan your next move carefully, those jittery scary feelings will naturally transition into ones of excitement! Good luck!

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