The Hard Part About Friendship in Your Twenties

I’ve been quietly suffering a broken heart all week. My close friend and confidant, Shannon, picked up and moved across the Atlantic Ocean.

I’m so happy for her, of course, but I’m also devastated. Goddamnit, Shannon.

I’ve found friendships in my twenties to be completely new territory. For the first time, I’m making friends entirely on my own accord. It may sound silly, but think about it: up until college, friendships are more or less handed to you. You hit it off in math class or become best friends on the playground. Even in college, you find friends in your dorm or waiting in line for waffles.

And then suddenly you’re on your own. Even small things like asking for a new friend’s number can be intimidating and nerve-wracking, and the first few hang-outs can feel like dates as you get to know one another (“You’re a vegetarian?” “What do your parents do?” “I can’t stomach vodka, either!”). I clearly remember the first friend I made right out of college — we kept bumping into each other walking our dogs in the park and finally exchanged numbers. I had little butterflies afterwards, it was so thrilling!

But here’s the tricky part: the twenties are such a touch and go time — everyone is trying out different jobs and bouncing around and no one is really settled. Friends come and go constantly, and it can actually be kind of taxing with so much up in the air. If you’re in your twenties, do you ever feel this way?  How do you stay in touch with friends? Shannon, I miss you already. Xoxo

3 thoughts on “The Hard Part About Friendship in Your Twenties

  1. Sorry to hear that your friend moved. 🙁 I totallyyy understand where you’re coming from. My very best friends live all over (Aruba, Arizona, one might be moving to Thailand or Hawaii, western New York), and sometimes it feels impossible to make new friends in my city. Because really, how do you meet people other than at work?!?! It helps that my long-distance BFFs and I usually text almost every day. And it makes reunions that much sweeter! xo

  2. Joy, I totally understand how you feel! 1) I miss Shannon like crazy too! 2) I have two other very good friends who also left and are leaving this May/June 3) I’ve been living in woods hole for the past 7.5 years and having amazing friends come and go is part of life here. I have had so many best friends here that then have left to so many different places around the world: France, England, Germany, California, D.C., Seattle, Vancouver etc… It’s sad but on a positive note, I have friends to visit and places to stay no matter where I go. When I had to live out in California for 6 months during my Phd, I found roommates from someone that I met when they had lived in Woods Hole and I stopped and stayed with friends I had met in Woods Hole along the road trip across the country. It was great! 4) Also, what I’ve learned about living in Woods Hole is that when one friend leaves there is always a new one waiting just around the corner. This place brings in so many awesome people and if you are open to making new friends then you’ll never be alone here for very long. Also texting, gchat, skype, instagram, facebook all make keeping in touch super easy, and being someone that loves to travel it gives me excuses to plan trips to go see my friends.

    Mola also understands how you feel, in her 3 years here she’s had many good puppy friends leave her, and for her keeping in touch is not quite as easy. Luckily, she loves meeting new hunting and swimming buddies, so she doesn’t stay sad for too long.

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