On Making Friends as a Couple

Here’s something I didn’t predict: making couple friends as a couple is hard. For starters, making friends in your twenties IN GENERAL is already challenging, but add another person to the mix, and, well, it’s basically twice as hard.

And it takes time! Kevin and I have been together for a year now, and we’re only now settling in to our social scene. For the longest time, it felt as though we didn’t really have any couples to call for last minute dinners or random Sunday afternoon movies. We’re great at doing our own thing — which I think is equally as important — but when it came to socializing together with other couples, we felt a bit isolated.

Thankfully, things have gotten easier, and we’re finally finding our niche. One thing I’ve noticed: almost all couples are open to getting drinks with a new couple, but sometimes it just doesn’t occur to them to speak up. Don’t be afraid to be that person! Another tip? Try not to think of it as two divided friendships, where you click with the girl, while your boyfriend hits it off with the guy. Instead, think of it as just hanging out as a group. There’s often this outdated assumption that the girls will stick together while the guys do their thing, but it’s 2016, people!

I would love to know, if you’re in a relationship, how you and your significant other manage socializing together. It’s not as intuitive as it sounds!

Image via Her Paperweight

5 thoughts on “On Making Friends as a Couple

  1. I really identified with this and in true lurker style I kept waiting to see if anyone else commented… but here I am to say I’m with you! I’m in a new city with a long term boyfriend and after 6 months we’ve reconnected with some friend-of-friends but haven’t met new people either individually or as a couple. Mostly I’m happy exploring on our own but some days it really feels like a failure and I’m redoubling my efforts this summer. I am usually the person more likely to offer up a plan, but then I struggle sometimes when deciding if I should extend the invitation to my own/the other person’s significant other, or try to carve out my one-on-one friend time too. But any social effort is better than not trying, for now!

  2. I too was curious about the responses to this post! My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. The other day I was lamenting the fact that we do not have any couple friends to do couple-y things with. Last year, we moved in together. I specifically moved from the city to the suburbs. It’s really hard to meet people in the suburbs if you are not really involved in the community (I mean specifically if you have kids and meet tons of people because of that, through the schools, etc. That is not in the cards for us anytime soon!) I truthfully never made a ton of friends after living in NYC for four years, but I think it’s mainly because I never had a ‘need’ to because I spent so much of my free time with my boyfriend. I cannot offer any insight, however, I can reassure that it IS very hard and I have not come up with a solution myself!

  3. I love this! My bf and I just had a small house party over the weekend and noticed that most of the people were couples. It felt so grown up! Anyway, it was a good way to see who we clicked with for future one-on-one (or two-on-two rather) get togethers. 🙂 Btw, glad you found me and thanks for commenting on my blog! xo

  4. Hi Joy, this post resonates with me because my partner and I have been together a long time (we are childhood sweethearts and aren’t THAT old yet…). Early on in our relationship, we moved to a new city. Some friends moved with us but have since moved away, so we have had to make an extra special effort. It’s not easy and what I’ve learned is that you have to put in some good ground work at the beginning and then if you’re lucky, you will find another couple you both get on with. You just have to be open-minded and not fussy. xxx

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