How We Met

This past winter, I was single and very, very alone. I lived in a house by myself, and I ran into my ex almost every day. I felt stagnant in my career, and I regularly contemplated leaving town and starting anew. I remember looking at blogs of happy, photogenic couples and feeling miserably disheartened. It seemed like such a personal jab — look what I have, look what you don’t have. Even seeing a tired couple grocery shopping made me yearn for the company. I can recall one day, getting an amicable bear hug from a male friend of mine, and completely melting. When he noticed I had tears in my eyes, he pulled me back in and asked what was wrong. “I’m so lonely,” I croaked.

Now in hindsight, I can see very clearly that I needed that single time, and as lonely as it sometimes was, it was also necessary. I remember repeating to myself, “I’m handing it over to time, I’m handing it over to time.” 

And then, on a frigid night in April, my friend Liz and I peeled ourselves off the couch to have a beer at the local divebar in town. In small Woods Hole, you see the exact same people out every weekend, so I thought nothing of it as we ducked inside and ordered some drinks.

We spotted Kevin at the same time — he was noticeably handsome, with that scruff I love, sitting at a corner booth with some friends. I took a deep breath and boldly approached him, which, for an introvert like myself, was out of character! The next night, we had our first kiss.

The funny thing is, I remember being on pins and needles in the beginning — I was so excited to have met him but I was also terrified that there would be a deal breaker, so I waited for it: Would he be a picky eater? Would he have tiny, slender hands? Would he not laugh at my bathroom jokes? I was holding my breath for our entire first date.

The weirdest part, though, is the fact that Kevin and I had mutual friends prior to meeting, we’re both in our mid-late twenties, and we lived five minutes away from each other. And yet, we never crossed paths until that night. That has always amazed me — especially since, in a big city like New York, you can randomly run into the same stranger twice in one day, in two different boroughs. It feels like a testament that time really was at play all along.

How did you meet your significant other? Are you single? Married? Share if you feel like it…

14 thoughts on “How We Met

  1. I’ve been reading your blog since the very beginning and never once doubted that you’d eventually meet Mr. Right. I’m so happy for you !
    It took me 20 years !!!

  2. This is lovely and heartening! Thanks for sharing, and so happy for you! Would you give your past self/a lonely friend any advice to make that hard time better?

  3. What a sweet posting. As a psychotherapist who works with singles and couples alike..it always rings true “When you least expect it”! Enjoy one another.

  4. I love your entries 🙂 Always very refreshing..and/or you hit topics that I wouldn’t normally think about, but always appreciate after reading.

    I met my guy at a Dodgeball game in LA (I was there as a sub, with a mutual friend). A lil over 2 years later..we got married (this past Sept). Congrats on the move, and meeting someone who makes you so happy 🙂

  5. Your 1st paragraph…that is my life. I love your “handing it over to time” mantra, and although I can’t say I didn’t feel a little jealous ping when I read your post, I am so happy for you. Hope there are only more good things heading your way. Xoxo!

  6. Such a sweet story! I feel happy for you!

    I met my boyfriend in a hostel in Portugal. We were both travelling. We are still together after two years : him in Southern Mass, me in Montreal, Canada.

    I enjoy living alone, but I hope we’ll be together soon.

  7. I’m so happy for you! Especially because I broke up with my bf 6 month ago and still am very much going through it (and also running into him all the time and he doesn’t talk to me..)… so I guess this gives me legitimate hope 😛 thanks!

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