How Are You Feeling About Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and this year, I’ll be “celebrating” as a single lady. I was feeling bummed about it all week, but my girlfriends and I have decided to rally and make chocolate cake and drink lots of wine, so suddenly Valentine’s Day is starting to look better.

In general though, being single on Cape Cod isn’t easy. When I was single in New York, it was chaos. At one point I was semi-dating five dudes, and that didn’t end so well. This is what my love life looks like now:

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I have to remind myself of several things: I didn’t come here to meet my husband (and it doesn’t work that way anyway, right?), and I also don’t need a husband, or even a boyfriend, right now. I still have moments of loneliness though, of witnessing a couple’s tender exchange and feeling blinded by debilitating heartbreak. But I try, over and over, to remember that everyone has their time, everyone has their heartbreak.

The other day, my friend said something that really stuck. We were chatting about the couples that seem so well suited for one another; the ones who steal kisses at dinner parties but also are the best of buds. I just want that, I lamented. And she said, “there is someone out there who is envious of your life, of the things that you have going for you, right now.” It immediately put things in perspective. I remembered a moment after my breakup when a shocked friend said, “but you guys just seemed it for each other. Like you were each other’s person.” It had killed me since the breakup was still so fresh, but it also made me realize how easy it is to see relationships as perfect when they really aren’t.

As Shel Silverstein puts it, I’m still looking for my big O. How are you feeling about Valentine’s Day this year? Do you celebrate it?

4 thoughts on “How Are You Feeling About Valentine’s Day?

  1. the answer: come to NOLA! tomorrow is just another day in the middle of mardi gras 🙂 i’m going to a crawfish boil where there’ll be 900 POUNDS of crawfish and alcoholic snowballs (which are like really good snowcones with good syrups). satsuma-ginger with bourbon!

    your friend said something really smart. it reminds me of this quote, one of my favorites, by epicurus: “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” i have to constantly remind myself that only the people in a relationship really know what the relationship is like… as a newly single lady, the sweet gestures and PDA slay me, but i remind myself of that discrepancy.

    this is my FAVORITE article about dating that i’ve read in a while: http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/02/voltron-theory-of-casual-dating.html
    it’s also my mantra for valentine’s weekend 🙂

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